5 replies to this topic

[KMS]

I got this in a email. I don't know who originally wrote it, but I thought it was funny:


A father was passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that the bed was nicely made, all the clothes were put away, and the floor was cleared of the usual clutter. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. On the front, in bold letters, it read, “DAD”. Knowing his son was not the type to leave sentimental messages, he opened the envelope with trepidation and read the enclosed letter, his hands trembling.

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy says that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood that should last the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune. Stacy says that if we can grow enough, I won’t ever have to find a job.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,
Your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, relax. None of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I’ll be home in time for dinner. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table.

[Lift Dinosaur]

Thanks, Kelly! Laughter IS the best medicine.

Dino

[Emax]

another one...

Dear Abby,


My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.

Also, since he lost his job eight years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and B.S. with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?

Signed: Clueless

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Dear Clueless,

Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman - you don't need him anymore! You're a United States Senator from New York running for President of the United States . Act like one.

[Lift Kid]

Emax, on Apr 4 2008, 03:34 PM, said:

another one...

Dear Abby,


My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.

Also, since he lost his job eight years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and B.S. with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?

Signed: Clueless

-------------

Dear Clueless,

Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman - you don't need him anymore! You're a United States Senator from New York running for President of the United States . Act like one.

Emax, that made my day!

[KMS]

Now, that there is funny.

[zeedotcom]

I love it. All politics aside, it fits the description perfectly.