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High-performance Ford


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#1 Emax

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Posted 30 May 2007 - 05:25 PM

It's a well-kept secret, but tirefireking is currently working on a six-cylinder Pinto engine capable of fully backing up a 600 HP lift. Rumor has it that it runs on top-shelf moonshine dispensed via a turbo working as an "homogenizer". This should make the engine an obvious choice for the ecologically-minded petty manager. During a recent Nascar inspection of a car so equipped, he drove it all the way home after the fuel tank had been drained to determine its capacity. Les has no comment about this incident.

[attachment=11962:Pinto_engine.jpg]

We look forward to continued reports.

This post has been edited by Emax: 30 May 2007 - 05:35 PM

There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians. Georges Pompidou

#2 Emax

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Posted 01 June 2007 - 10:33 AM

Update.

Shown here is an interim phase. You will notice that the block is still a 4-cylinder. Later phases will mate one 4-cylinder block with half of another - forming the promised 6-cylinder dreadnaught.
To achieve the desired power output, insiders suggest that Les may include several Chevy components.

[attachment=11972:pinto.2.jpg]
There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians. Georges Pompidou

#3 liftmech

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Posted 01 June 2007 - 12:30 PM

Might make it run better- Found On Road Dead, after all.
Member, Department of Ancient Technology, Colorado chapter.

#4 EagleAce

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Posted 02 June 2007 - 10:05 PM

:rolleyes: Oh, GOD, don't get me started on Ford jokes!! Here's one of my favorites: "F :censored2: ed Over Rebuilt Datsun"

Our Yan double has a Chevy 350 for an APU. I'm gonna tell our maintenance foreman we ought to put dual Flowmasters on it!! :tongue:


oh--and here's what PINTO means: Put In Nickel To Operate :biggrin:

This post has been edited by EagleAce: 02 June 2007 - 10:08 PM


#5 Emax

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Posted 15 June 2007 - 06:04 AM

View PostEagleAce, on Jun 3 2007, 12:05 AM, said:

:rolleyes: Oh, GOD, don't get me started on Ford jokes!! Here's one of my favorites: "F :censored2: ed Over Rebuilt Datsun"

Our Yan double has a Chevy 350 for an APU. I'm gonna tell our maintenance foreman we ought to put dual Flowmasters on it!! :tongue:


oh--and here's what PINTO means: Put In Nickel To Operate :biggrin:

It was probably "tirefireking" who built your Chevy 350. I built your control system.

This post has been edited by Emax: 15 June 2007 - 06:06 AM

There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians. Georges Pompidou

#6 tirefireking

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Posted 16 June 2007 - 02:10 PM

View PostEagleAce, on Jun 2 2007, 11:05 PM, said:

:rolleyes: Oh, GOD, don't get me started on Ford jokes!! Here's one of my favorites: "F :censored2: ed Over Rebuilt Datsun"

Our Yan double has a Chevy 350 for an APU. I'm gonna tell our maintenance foreman we ought to put dual Flowmasters on it!! :tongue:
oh--and here's what PINTO means: Put In Nickel To Operate :biggrin:




Oh Please allow yourself to continue!

Might I throw in........ Flipped Over Reservation Decoration

#7 tirefireking

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Posted 16 June 2007 - 02:13 PM

View PostEmax, on Jun 1 2007, 11:33 AM, said:

Update.

Shown here is an interim phase. You will notice that the block is still a 4-cylinder. Later phases will mate one 4-cylinder block with half of another - forming the promised 6-cylinder dreadnaught.
To achieve the desired power output, insiders suggest that Les may include several Chevy components.

Attachement pinto.2.jpg



It seems I have an R&D leak......

salute to Carl, I miss him too

#8 EagleAce

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Posted 16 June 2007 - 07:24 PM

View Posttirefireking, on Jun 16 2007, 03:10 PM, said:


Oh Please allow yourself to continue!

Might I throw in........ Flipped Over Reservation Decoration



hmmmm...my list is on another computer. Let's see what I can remember...


Favorite Of Redneck Drivers
Flip Over Read Directions
Driver Returns On Foot
Found On Road Dead
Fix Or Repair Daily
Fouled On Race Day


I'll add more when I find my list


Here's another good one..

"What do you get when you have 100 Ford trucks and one Chevy truck??"



You have a damn good junk yard and one good tow truck!

#9 poloxskier

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Posted 16 June 2007 - 08:02 PM

View PostEagleAce, on Jun 16 2007, 07:24 PM, said:

Here's another good one..

"What do you get when you have 100 Ford trucks and one Chevy truck??"
You have a damn good junk yard and one good tow truck!

You've got that right if you substitute Dodge for Chevy. :thumbsup:
-Bryan

Theres a place for all of God's creatures, right next to the mashed potatoes.

"You could say that a mountain is alot like a woman, once you think you know every inch of her and you're about to dip your skis into some soft, deep powder...Bam, you've got two broken legs, cracked ribs and you pay your $20 just to let her punch your lift ticket all over again"

#10 EagleAce

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Posted 21 June 2007 - 06:33 PM

View Posttirefireking, on Jun 16 2007, 03:10 PM, said:


Oh Please allow yourself to continue!

Might I throw in........ Flipped Over Reservation Decoration


:rolleyes: OK, you asked for it!! Be advised I did not write these--someone emailed them to me a looonnnggg time ago! Except where it says Dodge substitute Datsun.


WHY DID FORD PUT HEATERS IN THE TAILGATES OF THEIR NEW TRUCKS?
To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop.

*******************
WHY ARE THERE SIDEWALKS BESIDE MOST STREETS AND HIWAYS?
So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.

*******************
HOW IS A GOLF BALL DIFFERENT FROM A FORD?
You can drive a golf ball 200 yards!

*******************
FORD ACRONYMS:
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Backwards... Driver Returns On Foot
Backwards... Dorks Ride On Fords
Factory Ordered Road Disaster
Factory Ordered Rebuilt Dodge (Datsun)
Flip Over Read Directions
Four Old Rusted Doors
Fixed On Race Day
Ford Owner Really Dumb
For Only Retarded Drivers
Fabrication Ordinaire Reparation Dispendieuse - French for ordinary fabrication
expensive repairs.
Ford Owners Recommend Dodge
Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy
Found On Russian Dump
For Off Road Death
it Freaking Only Runs Downhill
Fat Old Rusted Dog
Freaking Old Rusted Dodge (Datsun)
Frigin Oakies Really Dig it
Funky Old Road Dog
Found On Roadside's Destroyed
Backwards...Don't Ride Over Fifty
Fixed-up Old Repossessed Dodge
Found Old Rebuilt Dodge
Forget OutRunning Dale
Found On Railroad Deserted
Found On Railroad Dead
Fools Only Read Directions
First On Repair Dolly
Favorite Of Redneck Drivers
Backwards- Dumb Retards Own Fords
Funny Old Rebuilt Dodge
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Found On Russian Dump
Forfeit On Race Day

*********************
PINTO ACRONYMS:

Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
Put In New Transmission Often
Put In Nickel To Operate

*********************
MUSTANG ACRONYMS:

Massively Under-Sized Tires And No Go

**********************
This is Chevy country and on a quiet night you can hear a Ford rust...

**********************
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
If it wasn't for our Fords,
our tools would rust.
**********************
This is your brain "CHEVY", this is your brain on drugs "FORD"

***********************
Buy a Ford and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the rest.
**********************
HOW CAN THEY IMPROVE THE NEW FORD TRUCK?
Put a Chevy engine in it.

*********************
HOW MUCH WOOD CAN A FORD TRUCK HAUL IF A FORD TRUCK
COULD HAUL WOOD?
As much as the Chevrolet tow truck in front of it.

*******************
WHAT SHOULD A FORD THUNDERBIRD REALLY BE CALLED?
Thunderturd



SPEED KILLS
DRIVE A FORD
LIVE FOR EVER

*******************
I'd rather push a Chevy than drive a Ford!

*******************
HOW DO YOU DOUBLE THE VALUE OF A PINTO?
Fill it with gas!

#11 mikest2

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Posted 21 June 2007 - 07:23 PM

I can't believe you guys left out:

First on race day !
...Mike

#12 mikest2

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Posted 21 June 2007 - 07:44 PM

Also; for the record, "Get out of Dodge" has nothing to do with any place in Kansas.
...Mike

#13 EagleAce

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Posted 21 June 2007 - 07:58 PM

View Postmikest2, on Jun 21 2007, 08:23 PM, said:

I can't believe you guys left out:

First on race day !



:biggrin: No, it's Fouled On Race Day!

and also F :censored2: ed On Race Day!

:tongue:

This post has been edited by EagleAce: 21 June 2007 - 07:59 PM


#14 tirefireking

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Posted 22 June 2007 - 06:29 AM

View PostEagleAce, on Jun 21 2007, 07:33 PM, said:

:rolleyes: OK, you asked for it!! Be advised I did not write these--someone emailed them to me a looonnnggg time ago! Except where it says Dodge substitute Datsun.
WHY DID FORD PUT HEATERS IN THE TAILGATES OF THEIR NEW TRUCKS?
To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop.

*******************
WHY ARE THERE SIDEWALKS BESIDE MOST STREETS AND HIWAYS?
So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.

*******************
HOW IS A GOLF BALL DIFFERENT FROM A FORD?
You can drive a golf ball 200 yards!

*******************
FORD ACRONYMS:
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Backwards... Driver Returns On Foot
Backwards... Dorks Ride On Fords
Factory Ordered Road Disaster
Factory Ordered Rebuilt Dodge (Datsun)
Flip Over Read Directions
Four Old Rusted Doors
Fixed On Race Day
Ford Owner Really Dumb
For Only Retarded Drivers
Fabrication Ordinaire Reparation Dispendieuse - French for ordinary fabrication
expensive repairs.
Ford Owners Recommend Dodge
Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy
Found On Russian Dump
For Off Road Death
it Freaking Only Runs Downhill
Fat Old Rusted Dog
Freaking Old Rusted Dodge (Datsun)
Frigin Oakies Really Dig it
Funky Old Road Dog
Found On Roadside's Destroyed
Backwards...Don't Ride Over Fifty
Fixed-up Old Repossessed Dodge
Found Old Rebuilt Dodge
Forget OutRunning Dale
Found On Railroad Deserted
Found On Railroad Dead
Fools Only Read Directions
First On Repair Dolly
Favorite Of Redneck Drivers
Backwards- Dumb Retards Own Fords
Funny Old Rebuilt Dodge
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Found On Russian Dump
Forfeit On Race Day

*********************
PINTO ACRONYMS:

Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
Put In New Transmission Often
Put In Nickel To Operate

*********************
MUSTANG ACRONYMS:

Massively Under-Sized Tires And No Go

**********************
This is Chevy country and on a quiet night you can hear a Ford rust...

**********************
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
If it wasn't for our Fords,
our tools would rust.
**********************
This is your brain "CHEVY", this is your brain on drugs "FORD"

***********************
Buy a Ford and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the rest.
**********************
HOW CAN THEY IMPROVE THE NEW FORD TRUCK?
Put a Chevy engine in it.

*********************
HOW MUCH WOOD CAN A FORD TRUCK HAUL IF A FORD TRUCK
COULD HAUL WOOD?
As much as the Chevrolet tow truck in front of it.

*******************
WHAT SHOULD A FORD THUNDERBIRD REALLY BE CALLED?
Thunderturd
SPEED KILLS
DRIVE A FORD
LIVE FOR EVER

*******************
I'd rather push a Chevy than drive a Ford!

*******************
HOW DO YOU DOUBLE THE VALUE OF A PINTO?
Fill it with gas!




Nice! That warmed my morning HA!

I did however build alot of 460s for Janek, so I must add Found On Rope Drives......wonder if any survive

#15 Emax

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Posted 22 June 2007 - 07:13 AM

"I did however build alot of 460s for Janek, so I must add Found On Rope Drives......wonder if any survive"

Lots - but the turbochargers die. With evac-only, non-automatic engines, any stop command must shut the engine down. When under heavy load - at full tilt - that turbo really spools up. When the ignition is cut under this condition, the oil pressure is gone quickly - while the turbine continues at 100,000 rpm+. The poor little floating bushing can't take that very many times.

I've always thought that a hydraulic accumulator or even an electrically-driven oil pump (dedicated to the turbo) should be used to prevent this situation. It ain't new technology - race cars have used this solution for many years... but you know that. Jan was never sensitive to these issues.
There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians. Georges Pompidou

#16 EagleAce

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Posted 22 June 2007 - 02:23 PM

View PostEmax, on Jun 22 2007, 08:13 AM, said:

"I did however build alot of 460s for Janek, so I must add Found On Rope Drives......wonder if any survive"

Lots - but the turbochargers die. With evac-only, non-automatic engines, any stop command must shut the engine down. When under heavy load - at full tilt - that turbo really spools up. When the ignition is cut under this condition, the oil pressure is gone quickly - while the turbine continues at 100,000 rpm+. The poor little floating bushing can't take that very many times.


OUCH. It's just like revving a car engine up high and then shutting it off. My dad saw a a lot like that in his machine shop. He rebuilt engines for about thirty years.

On Bruin when you hit the stop button it shuts the engine off. Eagle's stays running. Badger and Red Fox's APUs are evac-only.


:biggrin: back on the subject of FORDS--sometimes we have our own little version of Ford vs Chevy--except it's Hall vs Yan!

This post has been edited by EagleAce: 22 June 2007 - 02:28 PM


#17 Emax

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Posted 23 June 2007 - 06:42 AM

"sometimes we have our own little version of Ford vs Chevy--except it's Hall vs Yan! "

Jesus! You call that a contest?
Jim Hall was a nice guy, but he was no Janek.
He did finish things, however.
There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians. Georges Pompidou

#18 EagleAce

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Posted 23 June 2007 - 09:34 AM

On the occasional days we ran Red Fox me and the guy who usually ran it were always taking potshots at eachother in fun, as the two lifts are next to eachother. We teased eachother for various reasons-- Eagle's bigger, it can be run when the power's out, I always have the best tunes, etc....He'd walk by on a break and say, "Eagle sucks, Red Fox rules!" :biggrin: Needless to say he found out I have good aim with snowballs! :devil: :devil: And of course one of the mechanics likes Fords and I like Chevy!

#19 Emax

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Posted 25 June 2007 - 06:07 AM

View PostEmax, on Jun 23 2007, 08:42 AM, said:

"sometimes we have our own little version of Ford vs Chevy--except it's Hall vs Yan! "

Jesus! You call that a contest?
Jim Hall was a nice guy, but he was no Janek.
He did finish things, however.

Yipes! Vic Hall would be pissed at me for fumbling his name. I must have had racing on the brain - Jim Hall was the first designer to put an airfoil aon a race car.
Victor Hall's firsts were
  • First to offer bullwheel unloading in 1964.
  • First use of derailment switches.
  • Air snubbing (air in tube) on T-bars.
  • First use of aluminum in lift construction.
  • First use of adjustable tower arms.
  • First with bullwheel backstops.
  • First to use self-loading T-bars.
My apologies.
There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians. Georges Pompidou

#20 EagleAce

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Posted 26 June 2007 - 08:18 PM

Hall and Yan had a lot of innovations that made the industry what it is today. They were both geniuses.





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